My name is Matt
Swaim. I am one of Kevin's
friends from CHS and church. I
will graduate in May 2000. Kevin
asked me to write my testimony
for the web site, so here it
goes.
I was blessed to be
born and raised in a Christian
home. I have been going to church
for about as long as I can
remember. Growing up, I was
always the kid in Sunday school
that knew all of the answers in
the lesson because my mom read me
the booklet we were given every
Saturday night. A lot of people
at church knew my mom and dad,
and it seemed that everyone knew
my grandma. She still is the
sweetest old lady at our church,
even though her health prevents
her from attending. I guess I had
a lot to live up to, but I never
realized it at the time.
It was the Friday of
Vacation Bible School in either
4th or 5th grade, I can't recall
at the moment, that I decided to
dedicate my life to Jesus Christ
and accept Him as my Lord and
Savior. I was feeling the Spirit
move within me and a few of the
kids in my class encouraged me to
join t he preacher down front.
Not quite the
running-down-the-aisle-sobbing
experience some people have, but
it is the truth. It took me a
couple of weeks to build up the
nerve to walk down the aisle
during the church service. I got
baptized a week after that.
The next couple of
years weren't very Christ-like
for me. In 6th grade, I was still
moderately popular. The year
before I was in student council
and I was the tallest kid in my
class, which always drew
attention. But in 6th grade, all
of the elementary schools
converge to a high school-like
format with a bell schedule and
everything. To stay popular, I
did what all of the popular
people did. I used the worst
language available to my
vocabulary, made fun of people
and goofed off way too much, but
I was still in Sunday school
every week despite my behavior. I
still knew all of the church
answers, but didn't base my life
around what I was taught. At this
time, my parents had stopped
going to church regularly and it
was just me attending Sunday
school.
By the time I got to
Jr. High, the popularity had run
dry and I was now just the tall,
skinny, white, zit-covered kid. I
was now the one everybody made
fun of. I decided my life needed
a change, so I started with the
bad language. For the first time
in my life, I repented of my sin
and made the commitment to stop
cursing altogether. It worked,
too. I could finally control what
I was saying and I never slipped
involuntarily. I started making
new friends, too. They were
Michael Whitehead, Brett Hudson,
Nick Chase, Regis Andrez, Val
Aguilar, Will Head and Andrew
Kubiak. Many of them played
basketball and they talked me
into playing in 8th grade. By 9th
grade, though, I was the only one
of the group left on the team, so
I quit before the 10th grade
year. It was during this time
that I didn't say much to anybody
other than these friends. I
wasn't very open about sharing my
faith, either, even with these
friends. I thought it would be
good enough for me to just be a
good example, and let that do the
witnessing for me. I had pretty
much fixed the main problems in
my life, or so I thought.
After I didn't have
basketball to occupy my time
anymore, I focused all of my
attention on Rangers baseball. I
had followed them since I was a
little kid, but now they were
finally getting good, and I
really got too far into it. I
ate, drank, slept, and even wore
Rangers. I was there for God on
Sunday mornings and I said a
rehearsed prayer every night, and
that was about the extent of my
faith, other than the 'lead by
example' witnessing I tried. In
addition to this obsession of the
Rangers, a new sin in my life
popped up. As the girls started
to become hotter, lust became a
problem. I didn't finally learn
to control the problem until the
summer of '99.
As the senior year
approached, God spoke to me about
some things he wanted me to do. I
had visions of a morning prayer
group at school. The prayer group
became a reality when my new
friends Kevin Barrett and Ryan
Abt and I started praying in the
morning before school for a
friend that had turned from his
faith. God let me know it was
time to finally put my focus of
attention on Him. After the
Rangers lost in the playoffs to
the Yankees again in October
1999, I suddenly had a lot of
stuff to deal with. My team let
me down again and I kind of got
depressed. I went to a revival at
Kevin and Ryan's church. I liked
what the preacher had to say, but
more than that I liked being
around many of my friends from
school that went to this church.
Kids at my church wouldn't give
me the time of day anymore. So I
went back to my old church, Field
Street Baptist, with a critical
attitude. I suddenly felt alone
there. The group at the other
church, Henderson Street Baptist,
seemed so closely knit together;
very different from the
go-through-the-motions youth
group I was a part of. I need to
say here that I had never gone to
the many services at Field Street
other than Sunday School all of
this time.
On Halloween, at a
party at Field Street, I pulled
aside my youth minister, Jerry,
and told him that I was planning
on moving to the other church. I
gave him my reasons for leaving
and he said he understood, but he
wanted me to come back to Field
Street one more time before I
made a decision to move. I agreed
to that. At Henderson Street, I
got involved in everything they
had available. I went to
everything on Sunday, Wednesday
night youth worship, choir,
concerts, and I join a club
associated with the school called
SPARK. From a new point of view I
saw the things that were wrong in
my life and at Field Street. I
needed to focus on God and put
Him first in my life. At Field
Street, we needed to get closer
together and become friends
instead of Sunday school
classmates. We needed to
participate in church instead of
going through the motions. We
needed to respect each other and
our Sunday school teachers. There
is no way I could have seen these
problems had I not seen the way
things were done at Henderson
Street.
I told Jerry what
God had been doing in my life and
arranged things so that I could
let my youth group know the
things we needed to straighten
out. Things were slowly improving
after I spoke to the youth group
when Disciple Now 2000 came up in
January. Disciple Now is a
weekend retreat that is very fun
and brings me closer to God every
time I go. This year, the
majority of the seniors in my
youth group, as well as Kevin and
Ryan, stayed at one of the
senior's house. Chico, our leader
for the weekend, was perfect for
our group. By the time the
weekend was over, our group was
closer than ever before. For the
first time we bonded and became
friends.
Since Christmas, God
has been working with me,
preparing me to become a youth
minister. It is great to finally
see His will poking through in my
life. That is my testimony, a lot
longer than I thought it was
going to be.
--Matthew
Swaim
|
