What it has meant to me to find Jesus. I've always known there was a heaven. Look at all the miracles of births, miracles of all the different animals, plants, ect. But I've never been able to reach out. Someone said all I had to do was open my heart and ask Him in. My goodness what have I been missing! It has taken me awhile to talk, listen, and hear but I'm working on it. There was never an easy way for me to pray, I just didn't know how. To cry in front of someone or to show an excess of emotions was not me. Now I can pray, cry, say just a minute let me dry my tears, and feel great. I've never seen so many prayer lines, cards, flowers, food, visits from people who have learned what its taken me so long to see. Some of the prayers I've had said over me were straight from God & the messangers heart. I thank you. To be able to thank Jesus for showing me this time- a time to tell everyone in my family, friends what they mean to me- what He can do for us. I have found such peace in knowing that. Now it's about time for me to learn more. I'd like to start with the new part[New Testament], the old part about wars, ect. confuses me. I know a lot of the stories, but I want to understand more. OK- JamieJohn where are you- between Amber and JamieJohn we can get a discussion going. I've said a few prayers for others yesterday and today- I hope they were helpful-they come from my heart. Tomorrow I'll check on a few of my lady friends that need a friend to talk & pray with. What a joy to be able to do.

Jesus, I find that I am not angry, scared, or resentful. I can only give that to you, I want to say that I will not get scared, ect.- but for now I'm at peace. The days since I found out I had cancer have added up to more days that I would not trade- doesn't make sense- yes it does- I can see so much now that I never saw. I feel like I'm in Jesus's hands to guide me where I need to go. I know he's showing me the grace of prayer & love. MaMa went into surgery a few days ago and I haven't been able to talk to her. At first everything was great, they were just keeping her over night, to watch, had no rooms, so put her in ICU, so can't call, other than the nurse- she said she was doing good- was still there last night. Doctor found out she had some fever and wasn't happy because he didn't know. Hope she's doing good today and gets to come home today. First prayer of my day is to ask Jesus to watch over MaMa, keep the infection gone, and let her feel your peace & love. My second prayer is to ask Jesus to help a friend who is always in pain, but has asked for me everyday. Jesus I know I'm just learning, but if you'll tell me how to ease her pain some I'll try. I think I have an answer- to talk to her, to take the time to let her know we care.

JamieJohn you gave me that verse, said it was one of your favorites. I would like to have it again. Thanks for reading the first part of the stories. The way I saw it the new part is about God, Jesus, and good and the old part is about the Devil, so I had better learn good. I talked to MaMa, said was bleeding alot, didn't seem worried, hope she is ok- will check this morning.

--Jimmie Marie

My Commentary

I first Got to know about Jimmie the day after her daughter, Amber, led her to Christ. It was a week or two after she was diagnosed with cancer. While I never was able to speak to Jimmie directly, Amber let her know that I was praying for her.

This was the last thing Jimmie wrote before her brain cancer took that ability from her. If you've read and found this disjointed, or hard to understand, her daughter put it that "her mind is going," but, up until the very last, her spirit stood strong, and was an inspiration to all those around her. To have watched this unfold makes this one of the most dramatic letters I have posted. I only wish that in the same conditions, Jesus will "find that I am not angry, scared, or resentful."

--Kevin